We all know how many frogs and toads we might have to kiss before finding the Prince charming,  that might help us to perfect our kissing skills , but ruin our ability to connect with humans , trust them completely,  the ghosts of the past keeps popping up … some needs serious therapies to cope with that.

Today one the biggest problem among humans after basic survival is relationship issues ,no matter what age group you belong to  ,attaching heart and feelings with someone, fight for attention ,put each other to emotional tug of war , sleepless nights ,the dramas as some might call it .The teens with their emotional hormones , desperate to understand the world of the grownups , and grown ups with the fear of  being left single  jump into relationships, everyone has their own needs and reasons , and we are designed to be like that.

Today I want to share something different,  a very simple idea perhaps but profound and life changing for me , realising how much any attachment style can effect your whole life,  from your childhood to your adulthood,  there is always something curled up inside of us that plays a huge a role in the relationship choices we make,  and just like that , following  the pattern our first relationship sets the course and standards for our second relationship,  if we do not end up marrying the first love of our life …  Came across this post on Instagram by a content creator that goes by the name j.b.writer , he posted 6 reasons for why relationships end easily these days ? ….I’ll share the one that caught my attention  “returning of ex creates confusion ” , one of the biggest reasons of relationship failures,  when the relationship of marriage moves to its bumpy phase , many amongst us instead of handling it with courage and trust ,  throws everything away or each other under the bus .Among many reasons of this failure and what further adds to the failure is either the traumas of past relationships or comparisons or returning of past loves into our lives  , and many lose control,  their old feelings take control and  makes it hard to stay loyal in the marriage, flames of the past is not some joke …

Growing up as someone who choose to always question everything,  all the why’s and how’s are important to know , blindly following anything has never been the way, just because my parents said so ,or the society expects me to do this  , even the Holy Book Quran I have learned to love more than my own life now , that love began with complete surrender after I decided to read it , question it ,learn it , find out if its really the truth as it claims it is . After experiencing many friends going through problems in the relationships,  attachment issues , the emotional pain they go through in this girlfriend and boyfriend relationship, I have come to the conclusion, that saving not only your physical virginity until you officially sign to accept someone in your life is vital for a person ,but emotional virginity is equally important.  Especially if you are emotionally unstable or weak , refrain yourself from experimenting. I agree with the teachings of the Quran , which I have learned are only to protect us , protect our physical,  mental ,emotional and spiritual health , marriage is placed on a pedestal. Marrige does not promise everything will be bed of roses , millions experience torture and abuse , domestic  violence, but atleast you have rights , you can use those rights to find justice,  but out of wedlock relationships does not offer that option,  but only scars . Today this lovers culture is confusing the emotionally unstable youth way more than anything,  so many teenagers make life altering choices for sake of this illusion of love , for the feelings that bubbles up and they blindly turn their life around to a dangerous bend , sadly so many opt for drugs and suicide , or decide to  make themselves emotionally unavailable for anyone who has done nothing wrong to them .Protect yourself from those feelings for a relationship that atleast has some worth .

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