In his book “The pilgrimage ” Paulo Choelo wrote “Understand that there are people that are not good for us ,regardless how much we love them” reading that the first thought that came to my mind was it’s easier said than done .
When you are in love ,or fancy someone, all the red flags are burned , caution is thrown to the wind, we create reasons and justifications for their behaviors, we crush our high values under our own feets, we even tell ourselves what’s wrong with making mistakes? Or secretly hoping that with the power of patience or some miracle things might change magically for us .
This is even more harder for those, who open their hearts & souls like once in a blue moon , they’re extremely difficult on their ownselves when it comes to connecting with someone. For the easy come & easy go types , it’s a few days of mourning and then they return to the next flower like a house fly. But those who have a tight lock on the door of their hearts , when they unlock it for someone, it’s hard to let go so easily.
Love is not something anyone takes lightly, especially when it’s true love .And it is said that everyone falls in real love atleast once in their life, even the hard nuts to crack kinda individuals. They might never express or share it , but they’ve once those flames buried inside of them aswell.
So , getting back to what Paulo is saying, this understanding and accepting that this aching will stop , it’s a whole process, all the relationship experts , therapists , friends or anyone in whom we seek help says one thing, that it takes time, as time is the greatest healer and teacher, we all accept that.
Although it’s not a painless process,those who are going through this or had in the past ,they know absolutely well how it is like.Emotional pain is much more crucial than physical pain.One need to create defence like strategies and shields, train your mind to not only see but accept the red flags, try to begin doing things for others around you in need, it’s a helpful distraction ,stay around friends and family to heal .It might takes time, but every wound is filled sooner or later.
by Khuş, Editor-at-Large WEDA