Marrige is a huge decession , no matter from which culture, country , from any it chick club or frat boys clan you’ve been a part of, weddings ,and the sacredness of this relationship is undeniably enormous in every part of the world ,in every century, those from the East place it on top shelf , for them marriage is the beginning and end, they begin working on it from their own marriage and continue till the generations that grows up until the angel of death takes their soul away.
In the west ,though there’s a huge contrast , their idea of marrige is completely opposite, more cold feets and shilly shallying there, but one cannot deny that at the end the idea of matrimony is universally holy .
Though the increase in divorce rate is also an undeniably harsh reality, couples throwing in a towel on their marriage , abrupt decessions made in the moments of heat or bottled up issues , lack of patience and tolerance, disrespect and mistreatment, inequality and behaviour issues, financial stress , opposite personalities and expectations, it could be anything … while searching I came across an article on marriage tips from a divorced man , and one thing mentioned in that article was to “keep your damn money seperate” , well for me reading this was like share the bed but not share the bank……
Stop for a moment and think about it, and ask yourself, do you really trust the person you’re committed to? Are you in a relationship where you are completely comfortable with each other? As the writer also suggested that the married couples must stay in the same bedrooms , that led my mind to the question ,how can you sleep with someone but when it comes to sharing your earnings and spendings , you have separate ways … In the eastern muslim culture, a man is responsible for taking care of his wife , the family of the bride needs affirmation that their girl will be well taken care of, the process of asking hand for marrige is not some joke .
Aside from that cultural difference, the point to be considered is, just like everything else, where it takes honesty and complete openness with each other, one cannot have seperate bank balance and all .Money is an absolute reality, our needs and necessities depends on them , I’m emphasizing on this point because in today’s society this practice is the cause of broken marriages ,when one begins to play games about the savings and spendings , for my eastern spirits this idea is displeasingly flabbergasting, especially if it’s a man’s choice , its akin to telling a woman when it comes to using your body I have rights, but when it comes to money , you have no rights , our ways are separate….. believe me that attitude is an enormous cause of broken marriages.
First of all let’s begin with some clarity, there’s NO perfect marriage, like Anna Karenina perfectly said “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” There’s no couple on the face of the earth, from the prophets of God to kings and peasants who do not have to face the test of this relationship, Even the beautiful Prophet of Islam, who was a complete human like the Quran testifies ” انك على خلق عظيم ” ,
“And indeed you are of a great moral character” , he had moments and slight disagreements in his family life.
This relationship like any other Carries it’s own set of hardships, but the key element is ones level of commitment, not just by one side , but this coupling needs sincere joining of both souls, through thick and thin, and you agree to share your days when you look ugly to yourself but your partner makes you feel like the most beautiful thing, you hide nothing,mi casa es tu casa in most practical way , from your dark secrets to your brightest days … yes it sounds dreamy , impractical and novilish, but we begin to practice this , life will be marvellous
George Elliott said profoundly
“What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life–to strength each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?”